I'm not sure what exactly is wrong.
Something is off.
Things are not going well.
Events keep taking place that seem to scream "You are defeated! You will never win."
I watch my husband work his tail off every day. For 10 or more days at a time.
No days off to re-group.
He still makes it to church.
He meets all his duties.
He's even happy and upbeat when he comes home.
We are doing all the things we are supposed to be doing.
We have stepped it up, trying our hardest to be what we should be.
Yet it seems like one thing after another just keep hitting us from behind.
Actually, more like grabbing us from behind.
And not letting go.
We can't move forward with anything.
Everything's holding us in place.
Trevor.
And me.
Our family.
We're stuck.
He can't start school because of this.
He can't get a better job because of that.
Something bad that happened a year ago
Caused a worse incident this year.
That basically traumatized me.
And our kids.
We can't pay our bills because of all of it.
It's an odd thing to feel like you're pushing on as hard as you can
Yet not actually be moving in any direction.
I don't mean to sound ungrateful.
At least we HAVE a job.
And a house.
And family to help take care of us.
But at some point, you just want to be able to do it yourself.
Take care of your own problems without bothering anybody.
And it becomes frustrating when you can't.
And devastating when you realize you may not ever be able to.
